


What's Apparent

by amporasbitch



Category: Real Person Fiction, Youtube RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Arguing, Blood, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, I know these tags are not promising but trust me on this one, Look this fic is happy and sweet I promise, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Self-Esteem Issues, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:16:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amporasbitch/pseuds/amporasbitch
Summary: Five times Yandereplier went to Dr. Iplier for help, and one time he helped Dr. Iplier in return.Or, five times Yandere didn't call Dr. Iplier "dad," and one time he did.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm excited to finally post something again! This is a little different from what I tend to write, in that it's focused more on platonic love than romantic, and it's not super angsty. You're welcome :p This chapter is also rather short by my standards, so expect longer chapters later!
> 
> I know this relationship I've come up with is a weird one, but hopefully it'll make sense as this fic goes on! I plan to update once a day since I have the whole thing written already. If I ever miss a day it'll be due to busyness and general life stuff. Hopefully that doesn't happen, though.
> 
> Enjoy! :D

It’s not exactly uncommon for Yandere to get himself hurt; in fact, it happens pretty frequently. 

But even he has to admit that it isn’t usually this bad.

Tonight, he’d picked a fight with the wrong person, or rather, the wrong people. He hadn’t realized that the main guy had a posse until they’d already surrounded him. He’d done pretty well, all things considered: Only a couple guys had gotten away alive, the leader not included. But the victory had come at a cost: Yandere is bleeding from a hundred places and bruised in a hundred more. There’s a bullet in his leg making him limp, an awful throbbing in his head from when it caught the end of a crowbar, and a broken nose impeding his breathing. He’s exhausted and hurting, but he knows he has to get back to Ego Inc.

Granted, he is a figment, and dying doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll be gone forever. But who knows what could happen to his body if he died in some random LA back alley, not to mention how unpleasant death is for figments. So Yandere presses on towards home, repeating his internal mantra: Get to Ego Inc., get to the clinic. Get to Ego Inc., get to the clinic.

After what feels like forever but was probably only an hour or two, Yandere makes it home. He takes the elevator to the third floor where the clinic is, and fights not to pass out between floors. Standing still only lets his fatigue catch up to him, and he’s almost relieved to start walking again when the elevator stops. Luckily, it’s not much farther to the clinic.

Dr. Iplier is always there, at least, always there when he needs to be there. Tonight is no exception, and Yandere finds him looking through his inventory of medical supplies. It occurs to Yandere that he should probably say something to alert Dr. Iplier to his presence, but his fatigue slows down his thought process.

“Hmm, I’m almost out of that, but I hardly ever need it…” The doctor muses to himself. “Maybe I should – Yandere!” He runs to the younger ego, inventory forgotten. “Good god, what happened to you??”

“Did’n’ know he wus a gang leader,” Yandere slurs, swaying on his feet, “Maybe it wus that LA gang Mark-sa…sama’s fans keep talking about?” At the back of his mind, Yandere knows he’s delirious with blood loss, a rare occurrence and no doubt a bad sign. But he’s too tired to care even as Dr. Iplier fretfully looks him over, holding onto his shoulders to steady him.

“Geez, kid, you’re a wreck,” Dr. Iplier says, “It’s a miracle you’re even still standing.”

“Ffffunny you menshun that…” Yandere mumbles, just before his legs give out.

Dr. Iplier curses as he catches Yandere, probably glad he was already holding his shoulders. He holds Yandere up; the younger ego can’t stand on his own now. Yandere feels strange, somehow floaty and distant but heavy and rooted at the same time. His head lolls against Dr. Iplier’s shoulder, and he can’t find the strength to lift it up. Dr. Iplier is practically carrying him now, talking to him, but Yandere can’t listen well enough to know what he’s saying. He moves to speak himself, but suddenly becomes conscious of the blood coating the back of his throat, and the misalignment of his nose, and the gaps in his gums from knocked-out teeth, and every other part of him that hurts.

His vision goes spotty, then black, and he can just barely hear Dr. Iplier’s voice rising in alarm before he passes out.

~~~

When Yandere wakes up, he feels a bit better, but not by much. Instead of various kinds of sharp throbbing pain, every part of him has the same level of soreness. He feels bandages wrapped around his leg and head and medical tape over the bridge of his nose, IV needles in his arm and a starchy blanket tucked around him.

He cracks his eyes open, resenting how bright the room is, and sees Dr. Iplier sitting by him. He notices Yandere’s eyes on him before the younger ego can speak, and he smiles in relief.

“There you are, kid,” he says, “How do you feel?”

Yandere groans. Dr. Iplier’s grin turns sympathetic.

“Sounds about right. You’re pretty beat up, and it’ll be a few weeks before you’re back to normal.”

“ _ Kuso.  _ I wouldn’t have picked that fight if I’d known that guy had so many goons.”

“He was a gang leader, right?” Dr. Iplier moves to check Yandere’s IVs as he talks. “You said something about it last night.”

“Last night? How long has it been?”

“Twelve hours.”

“Twelve!?”

“Almost thirteen.”

“ _ Kuso!  _ Yami and Wil are probably freaking out.”

“More or less.” Dr. Iplier looks at Yandere curiously. “You’re pretty calm about this, though.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Yandere shrugs, inwardly cringing at the pain the action causes. “I’ve had worse.”

“Not by much,” Dr. Iplier tells him, “Last night was a close call. You almost died, Yan.”

“Well, I would’ve come back, right?” Yandere asks. He lives and breathes violence, and because he’s a figment, death seems like nothing more than an inconvenience to him.

“Most likely, but it’s hardly ever a given.” Dr. Iplier shakes his head. “I know it doesn’t feel like a big deal to you, but…it’s still scary, on both sides.” He forces a smile and gently ruffles Yandere’s hair. “I guess I’m trying to say I was worried about you, and I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Oh,” Yandere murmurs, a little at a loss. “Sorry I keep getting into trouble.”

“Don’t be, I know you can’t help it,” Dr. Iplier says, “Besides, it doesn’t matter what you get into. I’ll still take care of you no matter what.”

Warmth curls in Yandere’s chest at the doctor’s words. The older ego became his first friend after Yandere first came to Ego Inc.; hardly ever leaving his side, not even – especially not even – when it looked like he wouldn’t survive. Yandere still considers Dr. Iplier a friend, even though he only sees him when he gets himself hurt. He hadn’t thought about how Dr. Iplier must feel seeing him in danger. He’d assumed he’d just be alright with it; he is a doctor, after all. But of course he wouldn’t be. He cares about Yandere and doesn’t like to see him hurt, and his confirmation of that makes Yandere feel strangely special.

“Thanks, Ishi-san,” Yandere manages.

“Of course, kid,” Dr. Iplier says, smiling more genuinely now, “How about I go let Dark and Wil know you’re okay? I’m sure they’re anxious to see you.”

“Yeah,” Yandere says, still mired in thought.

Dr. Iplier leaves, and Yandere watches him go.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daaaaamn, amporasbitch, back at it again with the hurt/comfort
> 
> I liked writing this chapter, so I hope you like reading it!

Yandere runs through the halls of Ego Inc., desperately looking for someone, _anyone_ who’ll talk to him.

Chrome’s already turned him away with a cold stare.

_“We’re not friends. Go away.”_

Wilford’s practically pushed him out of the studio.

_“What do you want, nitwit? I have a show to film, shoo!”_

And Dark?

_“You really thought I loved you, didn’t you? You’re even more stupid than I thought. Why would someone like_ me  _ever care about someone like_ you _?”_

Yandere can’t stand to think it.

But at least Dark acknowledged him, at least Chrome and Wilford spoke to him. Every other ego Yandere encounters ignores him, pointedly stares over his head and talks over him like he’s not there. Not even the kindest egos give him the time of day. In desperation, he turns back to his loved ones, but again and again, they tell him he’s unwanted and unloved.

Yandere screams through his tears, unable to keep going. He drops to the ground, clutching his head as his mental state twists and cracks under the stress. He wails out in anguish, why is this happening, why does everyone hate him, what did he do, what did he _do_ –

Yandere wakes with a start, the latter half of his scream dying off into a gasp.

He sits up in bed, shaking and teary-eyed. That nightmare felt so real, looked so vivid, that Yandere can’t help but wonder if there’s truth in it. He’s crying and trembling as he checks the time: 2:26 am. Serves him right for trying to go to bed early that night instead of going out. He rubs his eyes, trying to scrub away the tears, scrub away the awful dread and hopelessness still stuck in his gut. But he’s never been good at self-soothing, and he can’t break away from the bad thoughts. Really, it figures he’d get a nightmare tonight.

Tonight, there’s no one to comfort him.

Dark and Wilford are away on business, whatever that entails, and have been since the day before. Chrome is charging, having spent himself to a 2% charge earlier that day. He won’t be awake until he finishes charging in the late morning, and Dark and Wilford won’t be back for a couple of days.

A part of Yandere knows that he could just call Dark or Wilford. Both of them hardly ever sleep, so there’s a good chance at least one of them is awake. But Yandere is still mired in the mindset of his nightmare, and almost fears potentially interrupting their work. As for Chrome, he couldn’t wake him up if he tried. He’d set himself into “Do Not Disturb” mode, effectively shutting himself down until he regains full charge. It can be overridden only by another Google, and Yandere wouldn’t dream of involving yet another person in his own problems.

Still, Yandere knows that he needs _someone_. He can’t stay like this all night, lest his mental state worsen and drive him to violence. But there’s no one else good enough at comfort, no one else he trusts enough. He runs through the other egos in his mind, ruling each person out as he comes to them.

When he thinks of Dr. Iplier, he pauses.

Surely he can trust Dr. Iplier, right? He’s still anxious about rejection, but Dr. Iplier is, well, a doctor. It’s his job to help others. Yandere may not be physically hurt, but maybe Dr. Iplier will help him anyway. What’s more, he’s likely still awake and running his clinic. Like Dark and Wilford, the man is practically allergic to sleep.

Yandere pads out of his room, still in pajamas, and takes the elevator down to the third floor. It’s eerie in Ego Inc. at night, in those wide halls that capture moonbeams in just the wrong ways. It’s not the dark or the strange shapes in the lowlight that bother Yandere, though. It’s the quiet. The stillness. The loneliness. He hurries to Dr. Iplier’s clinic, not wanting to spend any longer in the hall than he has to.

When he steps into the clinic, the bright light hurts his eyes. He stands in the doorway rubbing them when he hears Dr. Iplier approach him.

“Yandere? What’s going on, are you hurt?”

“N-not really,” Yandere admits, hands moving to fidget with the hem of his nightshirt, “I’m, um, I just had a bad dream and Yami and Wil are away and Chrome is charging and, I, I can go if you don’t–”

“Woah, hey, slow down,” Dr. Iplier interrupts. He gently puts an arm around Yandere’s shoulders and leads him deeper into the clinic. “You look terrible, why don’t we head to my room to talk? I was just about to shut down the clinic for the night, and it’s more comfortable in there than here.”

“Okay,” Yandere mumbles, surprised at the doctor’s immediate acceptance.

Dr. Iplier shuts the waiting room lights off as he heads to his bedroom door. The room is adjacent to the waiting room, and the interior is simple but cozy. Yandere always knew the doctor’s room was here, but he’s never seen it before.

“So,” Dr. Iplier says, sitting down on the bed and gesturing for Yandere to do the same, “You had a nightmare?”

Yandere nods, sniffling a little as he sits across from Dr. Iplier. The doctor hums sympathetically.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Yandere shrugs.

“It was just…everyone hated me. They either said awful things or ignored me completely. And it just…” His eyes get teary again remembering. “…Nobody told me _why_.”

“You poor kid,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, frowning sadly. He holds out his arms. “You need a hug?”

Yandere nods as tears start to slip down his cheeks. He crawls across the bed into Dr. Iplier’s waiting arms.

His embrace is strong and warm, and Yandere can’t help but huddle close. He grips onto Dr. Iplier’s coat with both hands. As he breathes through his nose to calm himself, he catches the mingled scent of antiseptic and coffee. It’s surprisingly pleasant. What comforts him the most, though, are Dr. Iplier’s hands rubbing his hair and back and his voice whispering gentle words into his ears.

“There, there, shhhh,” he soothes, “Dark, Wil, and Chrome all love you, and there isn’t a single ego in this building who hates you. The nightmare’s over now, everything’s alright.”

“It felt real,” Yandere whimpers, “They all feel so real.”

“I can imagine, kid,” Dr. Iplier says, “I know it must feel terrible. But I can promise you it’s not real at all. After all, I’m here, aren’t I?” He pulls away just enough to look down at Yandere and smile reassuringly. “Was I in that nightmare?”

“Y-yeah.”

“What did I do?”

Yandere shivers as he remembers.

“You ignored me. I tried to ask you for help, and you didn’t even look at me.”

“And what am I doing now?” Dr. Iplier’s voice is soft.

“You’re…you’re comforting me.”

“Exactly.” Dr. Iplier wipes away a wayward tear that falls from Yandere’s eye. “That version of me was just a part of your imagination, just like everyone else in your nightmare. I’d never ignore you if you came to me for help, and I know no one else would either.”

Yandere feels again that emotion that filled him after Dr. Iplier saved his life, that gently joyful warmth rising up in his chest. It dries up his tears in the wake of Dr. Iplier’s care and concern. He feels silly for his earlier nerves about going to him for comfort.

“Yeah.” Yandere manages a smile. “I know, Ishi-san.”

“Well, it never hurts to be reminded.” Dr. Iplier smiles back, kind and bright.

Yandere stays in Dr. Iplier’s hug for a while longer, and Dr. Iplier doesn’t protest, continuously stroking Yandere’s hair. Eventually, the warmth and contentment give way to tiredness, and it’s not much longer before Yandere falls asleep.

The next morning, he wakes up to find himself back in his own bed, securely tucked in.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sickfic chapter was inevitable, seeing as one of the main characters here is literally a doctor, so hopefully it has all that good hurt/comfort a sickfic should have :D
> 
> There's also a lot of allusions to another fic of mine (the same one that was alluded to in Chapter 1), but hopefully it still makes sense.
> 
> Enjoy!

Yandere can feel it brewing. He can feel it coming in the slow ache of his muscles and the congestion stopping up his nose. He can sense it happening in the tickle creeping up his throat and the uncomfortable warmth building in his core. As the days pass, it becomes clear.

Yandere is getting sick.

But he can’t let that get in the way of his plans! He has to spend time with Dark, mess around with Wilford in the studio, spar with Chrome, and do a multitude of other things. He ignores the symptoms beginning to show up and keeps on as normal. He doesn’t want to waste his time sitting around in bed and waiting to get better. Besides, he’s gotten sick before, and if this is anything like those times, he’ll be able to power through it without a problem.

It turns out, however, to be nothing like those times.

He wakes up after a few days of symptoms to find they’ve suddenly become much worse. He blearily blinks at his bedside clock: 10:49 am. He’s already slept in way later than usual, but the urgency that knowledge brings is dampened by how much he’d rather just stay in bed. His body feels hot and heavy and achy, and for a while, he can’t bring himself to move an inch. He groans into his pillow, half-hoping to fall back asleep.

But he’s too uncomfortable, as exhausted as he is. He’s too warm under the covers and he can’t breathe through his nose. His throat is raw, and the sensation doesn’t fade no matter how many times he swallows. He knows he at least ought to get up and brush his teeth, maybe grab some breakfast, but it takes him many minutes to muster up the effort required to throw off the blanket and sit up. Even after managing that, he stays that way for a minute, rubbing the crust out of his eyes, before he swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands up.

And almost falls back down.

His vision flashes black for a moment as a wave of nausea and dizziness sends him staggering. He catches himself with one hand on his nightstand and rubs his temple with the other. The distance to the bathroom suddenly seems much too far, but he’s already gotten up; he can’t just go back to bed.

He goes one step at a time, pausing frequently as waves of feverish heat or bouts of nausea wash over him. By the time he makes it to the bathroom, the nausea is overpowering everything else. He feels sickness rising in his gut, then his throat, and he only barely manages to stumble down in front of the toilet in time.

Of course, it’s at that moment that he hears the telltale rush of Dark’s aura teleporting himself into the room.

“Yandere, it’s quite late, are you…” His words slow to a stop, and Yandere hears his footsteps approach him. He hadn’t had the time to close the bathroom door, so Dark can see and hear everything. Despite feeling so miserable, Yandere is still embarrassed that his senpai has to be the one to see him retching into the toilet.

“I’m sick,” Yandere gasps once he’s finally done. He keeps his eyes closed, knowing that looking at his own mess will just make him puke again. There’s snot dripping from his nose down to his upper lip, but he can’t find the strength to attempt wiping it away.

“I can see, love,” Dark says, concern and disgust battling in his voice. Yandere doesn’t blame him. He feels Dark’s hand attempt to brush back his sweaty bangs, put they fall back over his face as soon as Dark’s hand leaves. Still, he relishes how cool his hand is on his feverish skin. “I’ll get the doctor,” Dark finally says, and Yandere can only nod.

It only takes a few moments for Dark to leave and return with Dr. Iplier in tow, but Yandere is already vomiting again in that time, trembling as he holds onto the toilet.

“Geez, you weren’t kidding,” Dr. Iplier says to Dark as he runs to Yandere, kneeling down beside him without hesitation.

“How did this happen so suddenly?” Dark asks.

“It probably didn’t,” Dr. Iplier replies, pulling back and holding Yandere’s bangs with one hand and rubbing his back with the other, “Even most humans don’t get this sick overnight. How long have you been hiding your symptoms, Yan?”

“A f-few days,” Yandere admits. He coughs, suppressing the nausea the motion causes. “D-didn’t think it’d be this bad…”

“It probably wouldn’t have been, if you’d given yourself a day or two to take it easy,” Dr. Iplier says gently. He speaks to Dark as Yandere retches again. “Yan’s clothes are drenched with sweat; see if you can find some new pajamas for him.”

Yandere half-expects to hear Dark’s shell crack in irritation at being ordered so brazenly, but instead he agrees without protest. A part of Yandere almost wishes he’d refused to help. At least that way he wouldn’t be witness to Yandere’s sickness. Yandere’s stomach runs out of things to bring up, but the nausea hasn’t gone away. He dry heaves, whimpering.

“Shhh, I know, I know,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, still rubbing Yandere’s back, “You must feel miserable, but you’ll feel much better once we get you some fresh clothes and get you in the clinic.”

“Will these suffice?” Dark asks Dr. Iplier, apparently having found some new clothes. Yandere can’t see them with his face in the toilet.

“Yeah, those are fine, but I think Yan needs another minute here.”

He ends up being right; it takes about that long for Yandere’s nausea to fade and for him to feel stable again. Dr. Iplier’s gentle hands holding back his hair and rubbing his back certainly help. One hand does leave Yandere for a brief moment to flush the toilet, though, which Yandere is grateful for.

“I-I can get up now,” Yandere finally says.

“Okay, let’s go slow,” Dr. Iplier replies.

Yandere standing is mainly Dr. Iplier’s effort; Yandere feels as exhausted as he did the moment he woke up. He manages to keep his footing and maintain some balance, but Dr. Iplier’s support lets him relax a little as he bends over the sink to wash out his mouth and brush his teeth. He fears the mint might make him nauseous again, but it doesn’t happen, and he feels better without stomach acid lingering in his mouth.

“Now, let’s get you changed,” Dr. Iplier says, and Yandere visibly balks.

“Not in front of Yami,” he mumbles. Dark frowns.

“Love, you need dry clothes, and besides,” Dark says, “It’s not as if I haven’t seen you naked before.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Yandere mutters, looking away. He’s not worried about Dark seeing him naked, but he doesn’t exactly want Dark to see Dr. Iplier dressing him like a toddler. Dr. Iplier, at least, seems to understand.

“Humor him, would you?” he asks Dark, “The sooner this gets done, the better.”

Dark almost scoffs but relents instead, turning and walking out of the bathroom.

“I know this is a little embarrassing,” Dr. Iplier says to Yandere, “But it’s necessary, and you’ll feel a lot better with clean clothes.”

“I know,” Yandere says, with a touch of blush that isn’t from fever.

Again, Dr. Iplier does most of the work. It takes all of Yandere’s will to make his limbs go up for sleeves or pant legs to go through. The new clothes have their desired effect, though; Yandere feels cleaner and cooler.

“Alright, time to get you to the clinic,” Dr. Iplier says, leading Yandere out of the bathroom to Dark, “Dark, would you?”

Dark answers by transporting them all to the clinic, traveling through his void in the process. Yandere almost wishes he could stay there, instead; it’s so comfortably cold. But the clinic turns out to be just as good, especially after Dr. Iplier tucks him into bed there under a light blanket. He sighs and settles in, letting his tired eyes close.

“Well, I was going to take his temperature,” Dr. Iplier muses to Dark, “But he’ll probably fall asleep with the thermometer still in his mouth. Judging by his symptoms, I’d say he has the flu. He’ll need a week to rest up, but he shouldn’t be this bad for more than a day or two.”

“You’re quite certain about that?”

“I am. I’ll take good care of him, Dark.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Doctor.”

“Ah, I’m sure you will.”

Yandere, despite the fact that he is indeed falling asleep, feels a trill of happiness go through him hearing both Dark’s protectiveness and Dr. Iplier’s resolution to take care of him. He doesn’t have time to think of anything else before he falls asleep.

~~~

When Yandere wakes up, he feels strange.

He’s hot again, having sweat through his new clothes and hospital bed. His eyes crack open, finding that the lights are half-off to keep the room from being too bright for him. He’s seen this sort of lowlight before, he’s felt this feverish and achy before, and without him realizing, his mind turns the before into now.

He sluggishly lifts a hand to look at it, and sees it flicker.

Panic fills him as he shoots up in bed. He’s fading, he’s going to disappear! He doesn’t know what to do, but he has to do _something_ , he has to–

“Feeling any better after your nap, kid?” Dr. Iplier asks. Yandere startles. He didn’t even see him approach. He stays sitting up, mind buffering, as Dr. Iplier comes to his bedside. “Oh geez, you’ve sweat through this stuff, too.” He puts a hand on Yandere’s forehead, fingers moving in Yandere’s sweaty bangs. “Looks like you need an ice pack and new sheets, huh?” That’s when he notices the glazed look in Yandere’s eyes. “Yan?”

“Ishi-san,” Yandere gasps, “I’m scared.”

“What happened?” Dr. Iplier asks, confused. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“I’m dying,” Yandere whimpers.

“That’s my line,” Dr. Iplier says automatically, “But seriously, you’re not gonna die, why–” All at once, he realizes. “Oh, kiddo…”

“I’m disappearing,” Yandere goes on, now beginning to shiver.

“Hey, hey, listen to me,” Dr. Iplier says, taking Yandere’s hands in his own, “You are not disappearing. You are not fading. You have the flu. You’ll be all better in a week, I promise.”

“But, I’m flickering!” Yandere insists, throwing up his hands to show Dr. Iplier, pulling the doctor’s hands with them.

“I can’t see you flickering,” Dr. Iplier says gently, “You look completely solid to me.”

“My hands…” Yandere mutters, staring at his own hands in Dr. Iplier’s.

“Your hands are solid, just like mine.” Dr. Iplier squeezes. “Could you feel that?”

“I…” Yandere’s brows furrow as he tries to understand. Before long, he gives up, falling back into panic. “Shishi,” he whines.

This isn’t the first time Yandere has used that nickname for Dr. Iplier, but he’s never said it so sadly, so desperately.

“Hey now, it’s alright,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, removing his hands from Yandere’s now-loose grip. He takes Yandere’s shoulders and slowly guides him back down into the bed.

“’M scared,” Yandere says, too exhausted to put much force behind it, “Don’t wanna…don’t…”

“Shh, you’re safe, I promise,” Dr. Iplier soothes, petting Yandere’s hair, “I’ll take care of you, you have nothing to be scared of.”

“Shishi…” Yandere’s eyes start to close against his will. “How many…how many hours…?”

“Thousands,” Dr. Iplier tells him, “And I’ll make sure it stays that way.” He keeps stroking Yandere’s hair. “Go to sleep, and you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

“Kay….” Yandere says, hardly a breath, as he sinks into sleep.

~~~

When he wakes up an hour later, his mental state is perfectly fine, aside from some embarrassment as he remembers what he said and thought.

“Don’t be embarrassed, kid, hallucinations can happen with severe fevers,” Dr. Iplier explains to him, relief coloring his smile. “I’m gonna set you up in a new bed, and then you’re getting some food and some medicine to bring your fever down so you don’t have to go through that again.”

“Thank you, Ishi-san,” Yandere sighs, intensely grateful, “That was…bad.”

“No problem, kid,” Dr. Iplier replies, “It’s what I’m here for.”

As embarrassing as it is to remember his delusions, Yandere is glad he can remember Dr. Iplier’s hand in his hair, and his voice reminding him that he’d keep him safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not...in love with the hallucination scene, but I couldn't figure out how to rewrite it and I didn't want to scrap it. Hope you liked it anyway ;w;
> 
> You've probably already noticed that this is updated with a chapter of day, and that's gonna keep going (hopefully) until it's done! See you tomorrow :D


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Yan unlocks Doc's tragic backstory (not really but you'll see)
> 
> Also Dark is here again, and he actually has to do with the plot this time!
> 
> Enjoy!

Yandere _hates_ when he and Dark fight.

_“I had the situation completely under control until_  you  _interfered!”_

_“You expected me to just stand there and watch them threaten you??”_

_“I didn’t expect – or want, for that matter – you to be there at all!”_

Yandere had followed Dark when he’d gone out, as he is sometimes wont to do. He knows Dark can take care of himself, but humans are unpredictable, and there’s no such thing as too much backup, right? It turned out that Dark was meeting with a group of volatile humans, so volatile that partway into their conversation, they started flashing weapons and threatening harm. Yandere had tried to stay put and hidden where he was, but when one of them stepped forward, he had to act.

_“Why the hell not!? You clearly weren’t going to stop them!”_

_“Because I wasn’t going to_ kill _them, I was going to talk them down. I needed them, and your recklessness–”_

_“My recklessness!? I was trying to protect you!!”_

If Yandere had _known_ that Dark needed those people for information, he might not have acted the way he did. But he hadn’t. How could Dark blame him for trying to defend him?

_“I don’t need anyone’s protection, least of all yours.”_

_“What’s that supposed to mean??”_

_“I mean, how many times have_ I _had to swoop in and save_ you _? And you suddenly decide you need to follow me around and protect me? You have terrible judgement, Yandere. It’s why I keep having to get you out of trouble, and why you keep getting me_ into _trouble.”_

_“Well, I’m_ sorry _for trying to help you in return for once! Maybe I should just never try to help you again!!”_

_“You’re being irrational.”_

_“You’re being a bakayaro!”_

_“Lovely. Perhaps you’re right; maybe you ought to stop_ trying _to help me and_ actually _help me one of these days.”_

_“I – you – ugh! Kutabare!”_

_“Get out of my office. This conversation is over.”_

Yandere is storming through the halls of Ego Inc. now, still angry, with tears of frustration and hurt streaking down his cheeks. He doesn’t want to mope in his room; he can’t even bear to be on the same floor as Dark right now. He’d go to his friends for comfort, but neither of them are any good at it. Chrome can’t do much more than look up generic advice on solving arguments, and Wilford’s much better at starting arguments than solving them. Yandere is stuck stomping around, scaring away every ego he crosses paths with. They fear Yandere’s anger turning into violence, and frankly, Yandere doesn’t blame them. It’s not healthy for him to stew in negativity like this, and he knows it. But who can he turn to?

His first, instantaneous answer to that question is Dr. Iplier. He supposes it makes sense; he does like the doctor a great deal, and he’s been a great source of comfort to Yandere in the past. In addition, he can probably offer Yandere some good advice: He and the Host have the perfect kind of relationship that Yandere is sometimes envious of, especially during times like these.

He catches Dr. Iplier in a quiet moment, finding that there’s no one in the clinic but the two of them. He attempts wiping his eyes before he gets the doctor’s attention, but more tears keep coming, making the effort fruitless.

“Shishi?” he finally asks, trying not to sound as sad as he feels.

“Yan, what’s the matter? What hurts??” Dr. Iplier asks, rushing over immediately. Apparently Yandere couldn’t disguise his distress very well.

“It isn’t…” Yandere sighs, though it almost sounds like a sob, “Yami and I had a fight.”

Dr. Iplier tenses, eyes darting over Yandere, evaluating.

“What kind of fight?” he asks cautiously. Yandere would roll his eyes if he wasn’t so upset.

“Not like that!” he cries, “It was – we argued! He’s really mad at me, but I didn’t do anything wrong, not on purpose, and he probably hates me now, and I–”

“Hey, calm down,” Dr. Iplier interjects, putting his hands on Yandere’s shoulders, “Take a breath, kid.”

“S-sorry,” Yandere sniffles.

“Don’t be; I know you’re upset.” Dr. Iplier flashes a sympathetic grin. “How about we sit down somewhere and you tell me the whole story?”

Yandere nods, and that’s how he ends up sitting on Dr. Iplier’s bed across from him, tearfully explaining the argument. He remembers and recounts every detail; it’s not as if he could’ve forgotten what Dark said to him, or what he said to Dark. Dr. Iplier listens attentively, occasionally nodding or furrowing his brow. When Yandere is done, a few moments pass before Dr. Iplier speaks.

“So,” he begins, “It sounds like Dark was too harsh on you, and didn’t take your intentions into account.”

“Yeah,” Yandere agrees.

“And he didn’t think about how you would’ve seen the situation.”

“Yeah!” Yandere repeats, sniffling but animated. “He said all that stuff about me and he didn’t–”

“Hold on,” Dr. Iplier says, holding up a hand, “I’m not done yet.” Yandere tilts his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” he says gently, “You didn’t look at the situation from Dark’s point of view, either.”

Yandere frowns and ducks his head.

“I mean…I guess…”

“You reacted to the situation without thinking about what Dark would want,” Dr. Iplier goes on, “Even though Dark was the one experiencing the situation.”

“But, then…” Yandere frowns deeper. “We’re both wrong?”

“Yes.”

“And…we’re both…right?”

“Yes.” Dr. Iplier smiles softly. “That’s how most arguments work: No one’s usually completely wrong or right. You could deliberate over who did worse, or you could use the effort to get to the root of the issue.”

“The root?” Yandere isn’t as upset as before, but only because it’s been replaced with confusion. He didn’t expect this conversation to be so complicated.

“Yeah, the root,” Dr. Iplier says, nodding, “The cause of the argument.”

“Because Yami was in trouble, and I tried to help,” Yandere whines.

“Well, yes,” Dr. Iplier says, “But think deeper than that. Why was it a problem that you tried to help?”

“Because I wasn’t helping,” Yandere says. His voice gets quiet. “I was…doing things without thinking…”

Dr. Iplier nods.

“And why did it upset you that Dark got mad at you?” Dr. Iplier asks.

“I hate when he’s mad at me, and I didn’t think I did anything wrong!” Yandere cries. He feels tears start coming back. “I thought he was in danger, and I wanted to protect him. He always protects me, and he’s always going out and messing with humans, but the humans he messes with are terrible! They’re always so violent and, I mean, Yami can handle it most of the time, but what if something happens? What if Yami got hurt?” Yandere’s eyes fill with tears. “If he got hurt because I didn’t act or I wasn’t there, I…I don’t know what I’d do.”

Dr. Iplier nods, trying not to smile.

“What?” Yandere mutters.

“I’m sorry, really, it’s just that…” Dr. Iplier says, “I bet Dark has a lot of the same feelings about you.”

Yandere pauses. He thinks back over what he just said, and realizes that it’s true. Dark wants to protect him from humans, too. Dark doesn’t want Yandere hurt, either.

“But what does that have to do with what happened?” Yandere asks.

“Well,” Dr. Iplier ventures, “What if you had gotten hurt trying to defend Dark earlier? He would’ve felt horrible, right?”

“Yeah…”

“You both had a similar thought process,” Dr. Iplier explains, “Just on slightly different ends.”

“But…but he was still so mean!” Yandere insists, “He still yelled at me and insulted me!”

“Yes, and he shouldn’t have done that,” Dr. Iplier agrees, “That was wrong of him. But you yelled at him and insulted him, too, and that was wrong of you, too.”

“So…now what?” Yandere asks. “If we’re both wrong, but we’re both right, and we had the same thought, then…who apologizes?”

“Ideally, both of you,” Dr. Iplier says, “But one of you has to be first.”

Yandere’s brow furrows remembering how angry Dark was, how the argument ended with him coldly kicking Yandere out of his office. Yandere slowly begins to cry again.

“He started yelling at me first,” Yandere says, voice wavering and quiet, “And I don’t…I can’t face him.”

“Listen, Yan,” Dr. Iplier says, reaching out and laying a comforting hand on Yandere’s shoulder, “I already told you that no-one’s completely wrong or right in most arguments. I’m going to tell you something else: It doesn’t always matter who started it. A lot of the time you can make a case for both people starting it. Dark could say you started it by interfering, you could say he started it by not fighting back right away, and so on and so on. Putting too much importance on who started it just paves the way for more arguments in the future.” He sighs with fond exasperation, getting a faraway look in his eyes. “I know if Host and I kept score like that, we would’ve broken up a long time ago.”

“Really?” Yandere asks, genuinely surprised despite his tears. He can’t recall seeing the pair so much as look at each other wrong; he can’t begin to imagine them arguing.

“Ohhh, yes,” Dr. Iplier says, half-laughing, “You should’ve seen us when we were young, way before you showed up.” He shakes his head. “We argued over much less and said much worse. For a while, I thought that maybe we weren’t compatible, as much as I wanted us to be.”

“What happened?” Yandere asks.

“I took my own advice,” Dr. Iplier says, squeezing Yandere’s shoulder, “And the thing is, when you try to think about someone’s point of view, you don’t argue with them as much. When you realize you both have good points, you solve the arguments you do have faster. When you let go of who started it, you don’t have any resentment after the argument’s over. And when one of you can do these things and be the bigger person…” Dr. Iplier leans forward, affectionately bumping foreheads with Yandere. “…the other will follow suit.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” Yandere asks, lip trembling, “What if he hates me now?”

“Then that’s a whole different problem altogether,” Dr. Iplier says, “But I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. He’s as stubborn as you are, but he loves you, and he’s not too proud to forget that.”

“Couldn’t I just wait for him to apologize?” Yandere whimpers, “I’m so worried about doing it.”

“You could,” Dr. Iplier admits, “Dark could have all the same realizations you did and admit that he’s at least partially wrong. You could certainly let him apologize first, but how long do you want to wait, kiddo? This whole thing is tearing you up.” He takes a hand from Yandere’s shoulder to wipe away the younger ego’s tears. “The sooner it gets resolved, the better off you’ll be.”

“I guess,” Yandere sniffles. Dr. Iplier pulls him into a hug.

“You can do this, Yan,” he murmurs encouragingly, “It’ll be hard and uncomfortable, but I know you can do it.” Yandere hugs Dr. Iplier back, relishing in the warmth of his embrace.

“I’ll try,” he whispers, “Thank you for everything, Shishi.”

“No problem, Yan,” Dr. Iplier replies.

~~~

Yandere spends the whole elevator ride to the fifth floor trying to figure out exactly what he wants to say. He has some semblance of a plan by the time he steps out of the carriage, but the moment he finds himself in front of Dark’s office door, the entire plan evaporates from his mind. Part of him wants to walk away and regroup, but a bigger part of him knows he needs to rip the bandage off now instead of prolonging the discomfort. He raises a trembling hand and knocks on the door.

“Come in,” Dark says from inside. His voice would sound normal to anyone else, but Yandere can hear a layer of tightness just beneath it. Is it because of their argument?

He opens the door slowly and steps into the office, then shuts the door again just as slowly. Dark doesn’t look up at first, staring down at the file on his desk, pen in hand. Yandere recalls it being the same file he put on his desk just before he kicked Yandere out of his office. Is he really still working on it?

Yandere doesn’t have any longer to think about it, though, because it’s then that Dark finally looks up and sees him. He’s so shocked his shell cracks, but he quickly regains his composure. His expression is unreadable, even to Yandere.

“Yandere,” he says evenly.

Yandere takes a deep breath, but it doesn’t make him any less nervous. For a long moment, he can’t speak at all. Eventually, he forces his voice to work.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, “I know I shouldn’t have jumped in like that. I know you can take care of yourself. But…” He sniffles. “But I d-don’t want you to be in danger. I don’t ever want you to get hurt. When they started threatening you, I didn’t think about why you w-weren’t stopping them, just what would happen if you _didn’t_ stop them.” He looks down, trying to hide his tears. “I d-didn’t mean to mess everything up, or yell at you, or anything. I’m s-sorry, I…” He starts to sob. “I h-hate it when we fight, a-and I just want us to b-be like normal again.”

Yandere stays looking at the floor, so he’s surprised when he feels himself being wrapped in strong arms and pulled into a cool chest.

“Oh, darling, I’m sorry, too,” Dark murmurs into Yandere’s ear, “I know you didn’t mean any harm, and I know how much you worry. I…I worry about you, too.” He pulls away enough to look at Yandere, and Yandere can see the remorse and concern written in his face. “It was cruel of me to yell at you for being reckless like I did, I know that. But I fear what would happen if I wasn’t there to protect you, or god forbid, you got badly hurt or killed because you were trying to protect _me_.” Dark cups Yandere’s face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away tears. “I don’t like fighting with you either, and I hate when you’re upset. I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you.”

“S-so you forgive me?” Yandere asks, voice thick with tears. Dark half-smiles, sympathetic.

“Of course, love,” he coos, pulling Yandere close again, “Do…you forgive me?”

“Of course I do!” Yandere exclaims. He hugs Dark back, burrowing into his chest. “I love you,” he says more quietly.

“I love you too, my dearest one,” Dark replies, kissing the top of Yandere’s head.

Yandere giggles, tears finally starting to dissipate, as he silently thanks Dr. Iplier helping him get to this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Dark and Yan together...so much...This fic ain't even about their relationship but I'm weak ;w;
> 
> Also "bakayaro" pretty much means "asshole" and "kutabare" means "fuck you" (insert "watch your profanity" vine here")


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a pretty big "oof," just to let y'all know. Lots of stuff about self-esteem issues and existential issues. But there's also a good bit of lore about how figments work (at least how I think they work), so hopefully you like that!
> 
> Enjoy!

Yandere has always been unstable. He’s never pretended he wasn’t, and he’s never been ashamed of it, not really. He knows he’s not the only Iplier ego who’s a little sick in the head, and he’s well aware of his triggers. He’s familiar with the signs of an oncoming panic attack or violent episode, and he knows who to turn to when he can’t calm himself. He understands that his mind likes to play tricks on him, likes to tell him that the others secretly hate him, likes to tell him that he isn’t and never will be good enough. He knows that these thoughts are the source of his nightmares and breakdowns, even though they aren’t true. He knows all of this.

But he knows himself well enough by now to know that there’s more to his mind than those thoughts, that there’s a definable place that those thoughts stem from.

He’s not sure when he realized it. He recalls Dr. Iplier talking about getting to “the root” of an argument a while ago, and how he feels like he’s found the root of his own issue. But he thinks he figured it out before that day. It’s hard to know now.

The simple truth is that Yandere’s instability comes directly from his purpose.

Every figment, no matter how new or silly or unpopular, is created with a purpose. Whether their creator explicitly gives them one or it stems from their character, every figment has something that they were made to do. It’s what drives their personality, their wants and needs. It’s a huge part of what defines who they are. Yandere’s purpose has always been clear: Find his senpai, and then get his senpai to fall in love with him.

Finding his senpai was easy enough; he’d been in Ego Inc. for less than a day when he met Dark and knew he was the one. Getting his senpai to fall for him was a bit harder; Dark thought of Yandere as childish and a bit of a nuisance at first. Eventually, though, Dark warmed up to him and finally accepted him as his boyfriend, and Yandere couldn’t be happier to be with him. Dark is everything he ever wanted, and being his boyfriend is as great as he used to imagine it would be. It’s been months since they started their relationship and Yandere is still just as in love as he was at the beginning.

But.

What happens when a figment fulfills their purpose? Yandere knows that most figments have purposes that are much more open-ended, purposes that are permanently ongoing or take forever to come into fruition. But Yandere has fulfilled his only a year into his existence, and his mind scrambles for something to hold on to. For a reason to exist.

Because fulfilling one’s purpose is their life’s work. This is true of humans, too, as far as Yandere knows. If Yandere’s already completed his purpose, what more does he have to live for? What else is there to do?

He wasn’t designed to live beyond the happily ever after. The story is supposed to end there, not begin.

But Yandere’s mind, as irrational as it is, understands that giving him a perpetual existential crisis wouldn’t be productive. It would do no good for Yandere to feel like he’s done all he’s been put on earth to do.

So, it convinces him he’s not done yet.

_Senpai’s only pretending to love you. He hates you twice as much as he did before you got together. You’re a valuable ally to him, but he doesn’t care about you. He just wants a yes-man, and that’s what you are. Look at him when he frowns, when his shell cracks, when he sighs or narrows his eyes. How do you know it isn’t your fault? How do you know he isn’t secretly mad at you? You’re too childish, you’re too immature, you aren’t strong enough or pretty enough or smart enough. You’re needy and clingy and irrational. You have to be better. You have to do better. You need to be good enough for him to love you._

There’s nothing Dark himself has done to make Yandere think these things. He’s been nothing less than a perfect gentleman to Yandere since they got together. He comforts Yandere when he’s upset, reassures him when he’s doubtful, and even when they argue, Dark always apologizes and makes it up to Yandere however he can. Objectively, Yandere knows that Dark loves him. His mind just refuses to recognize it.

Because if Dark loves him, then Yandere’s fulfilled his purpose, and there’s nothing left for him anymore. So he’s stuck trying to reason with his own broken mind, trying to force it to see reality while ignoring that reality’s implications. How can he possibly think rationally when he has to replace one form of cognitive dissonance with another?

Lately, the pressure is getting too intense. He can feel it starting to devour him whole, as each day wears on him a little more. His fits, when they happen, are more severe and last longer. Even when he’s stable, he can feel the bad thoughts pounding at the back of his mind. Now that he knows their cause, they’re ever harder to ignore. Does he deserve to exist? Does he deserve to be loved? The answer is both. Neither. Always. Never. Even through his lucid days, Yandere can feel it driving him mad. He fears that one day soon he might truly lose his mind and do something he’ll regret.

“Yan?” Dr. Iplier says, snapping Yandere out of his reverie. “You alright? You looked like you spaced out for a second there.”

“Oh,” Yandere mumbles, before plastering on a winning smile, “I’m fine, Shishi. Just daydreaming, you know.”

Yandere is in the clinic after his latest escapade in the city, in which he got into several fights. All things considered, his injuries are relatively minor. His most significant injury is the knife wound across his hand that Dr. Iplier is currently almost done stitching up. Yandere is more concentrated on his face, though, because it’s clear from his expression that he doesn’t quite buy Yandere’s smile.

“Are you sure, kid?” Dr. Iplier asks, “Come to think of it, you’ve…been acting a little less yourself lately.”

“What do you mean?” Yandere asks innocently. It’s hard enough to think about what’s going on in his mind; he can’t imagine talking about it. Besides, who would ever understand? No other figment has a purpose that wants to destroy them the way Yandere’s does. It’s his own secret shame, his own cross to bear. No one else can know about it, not unless he wants to give his self-hating thoughts more ammunition.

“You’ve been a lot more quiet, and more subdued, I guess is the word for it. You’re always so cheerful and energetic, but lately, it feels like you haven’t been. Are you sure everything’s alright?”

“I’m sure!”

“Yan, I think I ought to tell you…” Dr. Iplier sighs, pausing in his stitching. “Dark’s noticed, too. It isn’t just me.”

Yandere’s smile falters, but he manages to keep it from falling.

“O-oh?”

“He approached me about it a while ago,” Dr. Iplier explains, “He noticed you haven’t been as lively, and he wanted to know if you’d said anything to me.” He sighs. “I told him he should just _talk_ to you about it, but clearly he didn’t. But I guess I don’t really blame him. He didn’t want to embarrass or upset you by bringing it up, or accuse you of anything if it turned out you were fine. I think, though,” Dr. Iplier admits, looking from Yandere’s hand to his face, “That Dark is right that something’s bothering you. I’d been suspicious even before he came to me, but after that, I was certain that something’s going on.”

Yandere says nothing as he processes everything he’s been told. Dark knew something was going on with him? Now that Yandere thinks of it, Dark _has_ been treating him much more gently lately. He’s been more affectionate, more attentive, less likely to complain about him, even in a joking manner. Had it all been for Yandere’s benefit? How had he not noticed?

_You’ve been acting so fake, but Senpai is still so kind to you. He’s been so patient and sweet and perfect, and you didn’t even notice. He deserves someone who’ll appreciate the things he does for them. He deserves someone better than you._

“I’m sorry to worry you both,” Yandere finally says, struggling to keep up a carefree tone, “But I promise I’m fine. Maybe I just haven’t been getting enough sleep or something!”

“Mm,” Dr. Iplier says, resuming stitching Yandere’s hand, “If you say so, kid. But, just…” He stops stitching again and looks back up at Yandere. “You know you can always talk to me, right? If anything’s ever wrong, you can come to me for advice or comfort or anything else. I won’t ever judge you or dismiss you, and I won’t tell anyone else about it unless you want me to.” Dr. Iplier’s expression is serious, but his eyes are shining with care and concern. “You can tell me anything, kiddo, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

Yandere can’t take Dr. Iplier’s warm tone and worried expression, and his smile finally crumbles.

“Shishi,” he whispers, as his eyes fill with tears, “Do you…do you ever wish your purpose was different?”

Dr. Iplier blinks, evidently not expecting such a question. He returns to his stitching as he thinks.

“I wouldn’t say so,” he eventually says, “It’s definitely tough to be a doctor. Even though I was made to be one, it’s hardly ever easy. There’s times when people won’t accept my help, or when I help them too late, or when I try to help them but do something wrong or misdiagnose them.” His expression turns wistful. “And, of course, there’s all the patients I’ve lost. All the egos that I couldn’t save. That all hurts, but…” He takes in a breath. “I think it’s worth it. Being a doctor is so rewarding when it goes right. I can’t imagine ever doing anything else.” He glances at Yandere. “Why do you ask?”

Yandere swallows, looking away.

“It’s…it’s hard to explain,” he mumbles.

Dr. Iplier nods sympathetically, but remains silent as Yandere gathers his thoughts. He’s finished stitching Yandere’s wound, so he gets up and walks a few feet to get gauze from a cabinet. It’s clear that he’s still listening, though, and still waiting for Yandere to speak.

“It’s, well…my purpose was always to find my senpai and get them to love me,” Yandere begins, “And I did it. I found Yami, and he fell in love with me, and it’s great. It’s perfect. But…”

“But?” Dr. Iplier prompts, grabbing gauze.

“But…it feels like…” Yandere sighs shakily. “It feels like it shouldn’t have been so easy. I mean, it wasn’t easy, I guess, but it didn’t take me that long. Your purpose is supposed to last you your whole life, right? But I’m already all done with mine. So sometimes, it feels like…” He sniffles as tears start to fall. “It feels like I’m not supposed to be here anymore.”

Dr. Iplier whips his head towards Yandere, shocked.

“Yan,” he murmurs.

“I-It’s not like I want to…like, die or anything!” Yandere cries, “I just…I just feel _wrong,_ all the time. When you win a game you d-don’t just keep playing.” Yandere sniffles again. “But that’s only part of it.”

“What’s the other part?” Dr. Iplier asks, sitting down in front of Yandere again. He holds the gauze in a white-knuckled grip.

“It’s like my brain…it _knows_ this is wrong,” Yandere whimpers, “So it tries to tell me that Yami doesn’t love me. Because if he doesn’t love me, th-then I haven’t fulfilled my purpose yet, right?” He flashes a bitter grin. “I-I know it’s not true, that Yami loves me, but it’s so hard to t-tell myself that. And if I accept that Yami loves me, th-then I have to deal with feeling like…like there’s n-nothing left for me to do with my life anymore. I-it just keeps going back and forth.” The tears are pouring down Yandere’s face now, and he’s struggling to stay coherent through his sobs. “It feels like I’m g-gonna explode, or g-go crazy, or something’s gonna h-happen and I’ll never be okay again! I don’t know what to do! I just…I have everything I ever wanted, a-and I can’t even enjoy it! I sh-should be happy! I  _want_ to be happy! I just want to be h-happy…” Yandere gives up on talking, burying his face in his hands and sobbing harshly.

“Oh, Yan,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, dropping the gauze to pull Yandere into a tight hug, “Shhhhh, shh-shh-shh, I’m so sorry, kiddo.” He strokes Yandere’s hair with one hand, smoothing back the unruly strands as Yandere wails and trembles in his arms. “I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this. And you’ve been doing it all by yourself? You poor thing, shhhhh, I’m here, shhhhhhh…”

Yandere clutches onto Dr. Iplier’s lab coat, ignoring the protests of his injured hand. At some point he leaves his seat and curls up in Dr. Iplier’s lap. Or maybe Dr. Iplier gently pulled him there? Either way, Yandere stays there, face tucked into the doctor’s neck, trying to bury himself in the hug so he doesn’t have to feel the emptiness or despair. Somewhere at the back of his mind, he’s grateful it’s so late at night: No one’s awake to hear him sobbing but Dr. Iplier, who continues to whisper to him and stroke his hair as he holds Yandere in his lap. It takes a while, but Yandere does eventually cry himself out. He’s left exhausted and nearly asleep, and he expects Dr. Iplier to let him slip away completely and take him to bed. He’s done as much before when Yandere’s come to him with nightmares, and Yandere doubts there’s anything anyone can do about the wrongness in his mind. But instead, Dr. Iplier starts talking to him again.

“Yan, how come you never brought this up before?” he murmurs, one hand still in Yandere’s hair, “I can’t even imagine how much this must be weighing on you.”

“What’s the point?” Yandere says, quiet and tired, “It’s not like anyone can do anything about it. Figments aren’t…we’re not supposed to be like this.”

There’s a pause as Dr. Iplier considers.

“Can I tell you something, kid?” he asks. Yandere nods against his chest, so he continues: “There’s a lot of humans that have issues like that, too.”

Yandere looks up at that, slightly pulling away from Dr. Iplier in shock.

“But humans…” Yandere starts, “Humans aren’t…they aren’t just _made_ with a set purpose.”

“Quite a few of them might disagree with you there,” Dr. Iplier says with a wink, “But in all seriousness, you’re mostly right. Humans aren’t born with their life’s goal in their mind like figments are. They have to find it themselves. And that sometimes causes problems.” Dr. Iplier smiles a little at Yandere’s confused expression. “For example, sometimes the thing they want to do is something they can’t get the skills or resources they need for it, no matter how hard they try. Sometimes they end up really good at something that they don’t want to do. Plenty of them don’t figure out what they want to do with their lives until they’re almost over. And some of them are like you.” Dr. Iplier playfully pokes Yandere’s nose, making Yandere scrunch up his face. “They accomplish in five years what they thought would take fifty, and end up feeling like they’ve peaked. That they’ve already done the best they could ever do, and that there’s nowhere to go but down. They might get sucked into perfectionism or just become depressed.”

“But,” Yandere puts in, “Those are humans. What does that have to do with us? With _me?_ ”

“Just because figments are made with a purpose,” Dr. Iplier explains, “Doesn’t mean that the purpose can’t be flawed. Humans are the ones who create and sustain figments, and an imperfect being can’t create a perfect one.”

“No other figment is like me,” Yandere mumbles, head drooping, “Nobody else’s purpose is like mine.”

“How do you know that?” Dr. Iplier asks. “You’ve hidden your struggle so well that it took this long for anyone to find out about it. If there’s another figment with a similar problem, then how would you ever know?” Dr. Iplier smiles gently as he takes Yandere’s chin and tilts his head back up. “All that to say that you _aren’t_ alone, kiddo. There’s plenty of other figments, a few in this building, even, that have problems caused by their purpose.”

“R…really?” Yandere murmurs, eyes growing wide. “Who??”

“Well, I can’t tell you that right now,” Dr. Iplier says, “Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. But there’s egos here who have purposes that aren’t suited to their personality or skill set, or purposes that cause them stress or that they just plain don’t like.” He thinks for a moment. “I could possibly get them in touch with you, if you and them are okay with someone else knowing.”

Yandere spends a long moment considering. Could it be true? Is he really not the only one who feels like this? He can’t help but wonder who else is having problems with their purpose. It could be good to have someone to talk to, but he waited so long to say anything because he didn’t  _want_ to talk about it.

“I…I don’t know,” he mumbles.

“That’s alright; the offer is always there if you decide you want to,” Dr. Iplier assures him, “But in the meantime, we need to focus on getting your mind to a better place.”

“How?” Yandere asks. It still feels so impossible to him.

“Well,” Dr. Iplier begins, “When humans achieve their life’s goal too soon, they sometimes get stuck on it forever. But more often, they make a new goal for themselves. In a way, it’s a great thing for them. They can explore things they never considered doing, and try things that they’d passed up before. It opens up their whole world, and it’s up to them to decide what to do with it.” Dr. Iplier grins at Yandere and ruffles his hair. “We need to help you find another purpose and ingrain it in your mind.”

“Is that…possible?” Yandere asks, still worried, “And what would it be? And how–”

“Hey, hey,” Dr. Iplier soothes, “Trust me, it can be done. It won’t be easy or quick, but it’s absolutely possible.” He smiles at Yandere. “I don’t know what your next purpose would be; that’s something we can figure out together. It’ll be like therapy: We meet occasionally and talk about it, figure out what to do.”

“And if we do that…I’ll be okay again?” Yandere asks, hardly daring to hope.

“You will,” Dr. Iplier promises, “I’ll be honest and say that this is something you’ll probably always have to deal with, but it’s manageable. It’s like nearly any other mental illness: You won’t ever completely be rid of it, but there are ways for you to cope and live without it hanging over your head at every moment.”

Yandere had thought he was done crying, but his eyes tear up anew.

“I thought…” he whispers shakily, “I thought I’d have to suffer forever.”

Dr. Iplier pulls Yandere close again, holding him tight.

“You poor kid,” he murmurs, “I can’t imagine how you must’ve felt. But I’m here now, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you with this. You have my word.”

Yandere nods against Dr. Iplier’s chest, and surprises both the doctor and himself with a big yawn.

“Well then,” Dr. Iplier chuckles, “We’ll work out the details later when you aren’t so tired. I do still have to bandage your hand, though.”

“Yeah,” Yandere says, finding it hard to keep his eyes open.

He stays awake, though, thinking, as Dr. Iplier wraps his hand in gauze. As exhausted as he is from his day and his earlier tears, the gears in his mind won’t stop turning. He’s still astonished that he isn’t doomed to suffer from his faulty mind forever. He’s equally shocked that there are other egos around who feel like he does. Yandere had been so certain he was alone in this, and that no one could ever help him. But maybe, Yandere reasons, he should’ve known that Dr. Iplier could help him. The older ego seems to know everything, always saying the right thing and giving Yandere the right advice. As hard as it was to explain his problem, Yandere is looking forward to talking with Dr. Iplier in the future.

“Okay,” Dr. Iplier says as he tapes the gauze, “You’re all set. This should heal up in no time. And…” Dr. Iplier gives Yandere a meaningful look. “I really do hope you come back to talk soon.”

“I will,” Yandere promises, “I…thank you. Thank you so much, Shishi.”

Dr. Iplier smiles and ruffles Yandere’s hair.

“Anytime, kiddo,” he says warmly, “Now, go get some sleep. It’s late and you’ve had quite the night.”

“Okay, D–” Yandere starts, almost saying something else in addition, but stopping himself at the last moment. “Goodnight,” he says instead.

“Goodnight, Yan,” Dr. Iplier replies, still smiling kindly.

As Yandere walks to his room, his mind swirls not just with thoughts of the earlier conversation, but with the thought of what he almost said as well. How could he ever say it? Dr. Iplier is…a friend. A mentor, maybe. But he’s not…that. Even if Yandere wanted him to be (which he does, very much), there’s no way Dr. Iplier feels the same. He cares about him, sure, but he’s the group doctor. He cares about everyone. Yandere isn’t the youngest, most vulnerable, or most lovable ego in the building. Hell, he goes out every night and kills people for fun; how could Dr. Iplier ever…ever…love him like that?

Yandere eventually gets to his room, and somehow manages to fall asleep, despite everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yan almost said the thiiiing :D Not yet, though. We still have one more chapter to go!
> 
> Unfortunately, I might not be able to update tomorrow, since I'll be at work a lot of the day. Hate to keep you in suspense, but alas, I can't exactly post the last chapter while working at a clothing store :'( If not tomorrow, then the last chapter will be Sunday, that I can promise!


	6. +1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Last chapter on Sunday," she said. "That's a promise," she said.
> 
> Apparently the only promises you'll get out of me are those good old Markiplier Promises™
> 
> But hey! Here's the chapter! It's longer than the others so hopefully that makes up for the lateness. There's also a bit of Host and Google Green in there :D
> 
> Will Yan finally say the thing? Read and find out!
> 
> Enjoy!

Dr. Iplier knows it’s risky to get his supplies in person instead of ordering them online, but he doesn’t want to take any chances with the medical drugs he needs for his clinic. Ego, Inc. doesn’t have the funds for him to order drugs through legitimate suppliers, and it’d be nigh impossible to fake all the necessary documentation to order from them anyway. He’s restricted to less legal ways of procuring his supplies: Drug dealers occasionally, but usually pharmacists looking to make an extra buck. Dr. Iplier has a bit of a reputation among the people he buys from: He’s discerning, businesslike, and insists upon purity and quality above all else. He’s also usually accompanied by someone else; a man in a green shirt and glasses who looks like he could be his brother.

Plus does often come along with Dr. Iplier for these physical trips to get supplies. He generally quite likes helping out with the clinic, but that’s not the main reason. It’s a failsafe that Dark insisted on a long time ago; before Plus it was Google, and before Google it was Dark himself. Dr. Iplier isn’t strong or magical like other egos, and there’s almost nothing a junkie won’t do for a fix, up to and including attacking Dr. Iplier to get his supply. Plus is essentially Dr. Iplier’s bodyguard on those nights, but not this night. Tonight, Dr. Iplier is alone, and Plus is at home getting repaired after a mishap in Wilford’s studio.

Maybe he should’ve canceled the supply run and done it tomorrow night, but Dr. Iplier doesn’t want to go through the trouble. His suppliers are tricky to get in touch with for obvious reasons, and he doesn’t want to annoy them by going back on his promise to buy from them tonight.

For what it’s worth, the first half of the night goes well. He gets the supplies he needs without any problems, and sets about walking back to Ego, Inc. In fact, he’s not far from home when he’s approached by a group of three men. They’re on the younger side, but drug use has made them haggard. Their hair is long and stringy, their eyes are too bright, and their leering grins reveal many bad teeth. Dr. Iplier can’t tell on sight what kind of drug they prefer, but he can see that they’re regular users of something, perhaps multiple somethings. They’re likely looking for whatever they can get, or in this case, whatever Dr. Iplier has on his person.

“’Sup doc,” the one in the front, a skinny blonde, says. The other two snicker at his joke as the blonde points at Dr. Iplier’s medical briefcase. “Watcha got there?”

“Supplies,” Dr. Iplier says evenly. He’s well-used to keeping cool under pressure, so he reigns in his worry effortlessly. “I needed to run out and get some things for my practice. Nothing very interesting.”

“Then why ya out so late at night?” another man asks, this one short and heavier set. “All those medical companies or whatever are closed, aren’t they?”

“Not all of them,” Dr. Iplier answers, “But it _is_ quite late. If you gentlemen excuse me, I’d very much like to get home and go to bed.”

“What’s the hurry?” laughs the third and final man, more crazy-eyed and wild-haired than the other two, “Can’t ya hang out with us for a bit? Show us what ya got in the case?”

“No,” Dr. Iplier says, “Goodnight.”

He moves to walk past them, but the blonde one stops him with an arm across his chest and a laugh.

“C’mon doc, we just wanna see your stash,” he drawls. He pulls out a knife from the waistband of his pants. “We could do it the hard way or the easy way.”

Dr. Iplier internally curses. That knife had been too well-hidden for him to spot earlier. He spares glances to the other two men, and finds them touching their own blades through the waistband of their jeans. He knows he has two choices: Give up the briefcase and lose out on a ridiculous amount of money, argue with them and probably get stabbed, or push the blonde man away and make a run for it. He’s close enough to Ego, Inc. that the last plan just might work: Once humans get too close, the building’s magic shields it from them and makes them walk right by. Even if they saw Dr. Iplier run into the building, they wouldn’t have a hope of getting inside themselves.

So Dr. Iplier pushes the blonde man to the side and bolts.

But he doesn’t get far before the short man grabs the tail end of his lab coat, pulling him back so forcefully that he falls. His head clunks against the pavement. He lays there, dazed, as the three men pull his briefcase out of his hand and rummage through it.

“You were holdin’ out on us, doc,” says the blonde, “Told ya we could do it the hard way or the easy way.”

Dr. Iplier manages to sit up after a moment. He knows there’s no chance of getting his briefcase back, so he stands and plans to quietly exit. But the crazy-eyed man spots him trying to leave.

“Hey, hold on doc!” he calls, scrambling up from the briefcase and getting in Dr. Iplier’s face. He grabs Dr. Iplier’s hair when he recoils, pulling him in too close for comfort. “I betcha got a lot more where those came from. How about you take us there, huh?”

“I can’t,” Dr. Iplier says, and it’s the truth. He has no idea what might happen when they reach Ego, Inc. with the doctor in their company. They might let him go in their confusion, but they might also drag him away. Either way, Dr. Iplier doesn’t trust any of them, least of all the crazy-eyed man, not to stab him in the meantime.

“Wrong answer,” the crazy-eyed man growls, but he’s grinning still, unnaturally tight. The other two men begin to notice the confrontation, and start to get up to approach. Dr. Iplier can see the situation going south.

“Look, you have my briefcase, and you can keep it and everything in it. And I’ll just go home and pretend this never happened.”

“How do we know you won’t squeal?” asks the short man, “You’ll call the cops if we let ya go, won’t ya?”

“I won’t, I swear,” Dr. Iplier insists, but it’s clear they don’t believe him.

“We can’t have that,” says the crazy-eyed man, grinning wider and holding Dr. Iplier’s hair tighter as the other two approach, knives out. He takes out his own knife, holding it up to the doctor’s face. “We’ll hafta make extra sure you don’t talk.”

Dr. Iplier tries again to run, but he can’t extricate himself from the crazy-eyed man’s grip on his hair.

After that, everything becomes a blur of pain.

“Hold him down, would ya!? He won’t stop squirmin’!”

“Or screamin’, Jesus. We got anything to shut him up with?”

“Who cares if he’s screamin’, he won’t be for long.”

“Speakin’ of long, why’s this _takin’_ so long?”

“We ain’t cuttin’ the right areas, we gotta–”

_“Shishi!!”_

Dr. Iplier can’t move to look up, can barely see past the blood in his eyes, but he’d know that voice anywhere.

“Yan,” he gasps, choking on blood from a punctured organ. He isn’t sure which one.

“What, you two know each other?” the blonde man asks, standing. “Guess we’ll hafta just get ya both, make sure there’s no witnesses, yeah?”

“Try it,” Yandere growls.

Dr. Iplier doesn’t see the confrontation, but he can hear the visceral sounds of Yandere’s sword slicing flesh and a body hitting the ground.

Dr. Iplier doesn’t know what happens after. He starts to lose his grip on consciousness, even as he fights to stay awake. He knows that passing out is the worst thing he could do right now, but that knowledge is becoming hard to hold onto through the pain and blood loss. He blinks himself back to reality in time to see Yandere scramble to his knees beside him, the other men gone.

“Shishi, oh no, oh no,” he gasps, wiping blood out of the doctor’s eyes. Yandere’s own eyes are wide and teary with fear. There’s blood on his shirt, but Dr. Iplier is sure it isn’t his.

“Kid–” Dr. Iplier breathes, but whatever he was going to say next is cut off by a bloody cough. He can feel himself getting colder as his blood runs out. His eyes start to close against his will.

“Shishi, no, stay awake!” Yandere cries, cupping Dr. Iplier’s face in his hands. His fingers tap at his cheeks, too worried about hurting him to slap him awake. “Please, please _oto-san_ , don’t pass out!!”

Oto-san? Dr. Iplier’s never heard that word before. He doesn’t have much time to ponder it, though, because despite Yandere’s pleas, the dark is closing in too fast for Dr. Iplier to stop it. Within moments, he’s swallowed by it.

~~~

When Dr. Iplier wakes up, he already knows he somehow managed not to die. Death isn’t like passing out, and he knows he didn’t spend any time in death’s void. He figures it was a close call, though, judging by the soreness he feels all over. There’s bandages wrapped across his chest, his arms and hands, and one around his forehead, flattening his hair. He can also feel stitches in a few places, holding wounds together. He opens his eyes to find he’s in his own clinic, laying in one of the beds. He still remembers what happened, so he’s pretty sure he can guess how he ended up here. After a few moments, he hears footsteps coming into the room, methodical and purposeful. He’s not surprised to look over and see Plus approaching him.

“You’re awake,” Plus says, “How do you feel?” It’s as much of a greeting as one can expect from Plus.

“Sore,” Dr. Iplier answers, “Did you fix me up?”

“Yes,” Plus replies. He frowns. “You should have waited to do a supply run until I was fixed.”

“Well, I know that _now,_ ” Dr. Iplier sighs, “Are you still not fixed, then?”

“No, I am fixed. I was nearly repaired when Yandere brought you home, and Google finished repairing me once I had treated you.”

“Well, thanks a lot for helping me out. I’d say I owe you one, but…I can’t exactly pay it back like this.”

“Yes. You will need to stay in the clinic as a patient until you are healed. In the meantime, I will be taking on your role.”

“Good.” Dr. Iplier grins. “There’s no one better for the job.”

Plus lights up at that, grinning back in excitement at the praise. Dr. Iplier sometimes forgets how young Plus is with how formal he acts and how incredibly intelligent he is, but it’s moments like this that remind him.

“So…” Dr. Iplier says, “How long has it been since I was brought in?”

“Nine hours and fifty-two…” Plus pauses for a long moment. “…Fifty-three minutes.” Dr. Iplier grimaces as Plus continues. “Yandere and the Host are both in the waiting room. They are very concerned.”

“I bet,” Dr. Iplier sighs. He’s sure “very concerned” is an understatement, knowing them.

“I believe it is best for you to see them one at a time in your current condition,” Plus says, “That is, if you would like to see them.”

“Definitely,” Dr. Iplier agrees, “And yeah, one at a time is probably better.” After what happened, they both need time alone with him.

Plus nods, leaves, and several moments later, the Host walks in.

It’s clear he’s been doing poorly since Dr. Iplier showed up injured. There’s a few dried streaks of blood on his cheeks, as if he’d washed his face of blood tears but missed a few spots. Whether or not he cried, he certainly bled; his bandages are soaked through and look ready to slip off his face completely. He narrates his way to the bed, and Dr. Iplier can hear the exhaustion in his voice. Once he’s close enough, Dr. Iplier reaches out and grabs his hand.

“Hey there, love,” he says softly.

In response, Host leans forward and hugs him gently with his other arm, mindful of the doctor’s injuries.

“You colossal idiot,” Host mutters into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I worried you, Host.” Dr. Iplier runs a hand through Host’s hair. “I knew I should’ve waited until Plus was fixed, but it seemed like too much trouble.”

“More trouble than almost getting stabbed to death by three drug addicts?” Host grumbles.

“Point taken,” Dr. Iplier chuckles, kissing the top of Host’s head. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”

“You better not.” Host pulls away to look at Dr. Iplier, and even without eyes, his serious expression comes across. “If you’re going to die anytime soon, it isn’t going to be by some stupid humans.”

“Of course not, Isaac.” Dr. Iplier cups Host’s face with one hand and smiles at him. “I love you too much to let that happen.”

“I love you too, you moron,” Host huffs, “Though, by that logic, you apparently didn’t love me that much last night.”

“I _always_ love you,” Dr. Iplier insists, leaning forward and kissing Host on the nose. “Always.” He kisses his cheek. “Always.” The other cheek. “Always, always.” His lips. Host kisses back without hesitation, but looks disgruntled when he pulls away.

“That shouldn’t work on me,” he says.

“That means it does,” Dr. Iplier points out, grinning.

“You’re impossible, Edward,” Host sighs, even as he leans forward for another kiss.

After a few more minutes of Dr. Iplier placating the Host, the blind man decides to go.

“I suppose I ought to let Yandere see you,” he says, “He was as worried about you as I was, maybe even more so.”

“Poor kid,” Dr. Iplier says, grimacing, “Yeah, I should talk to him. And _you_ should get your bandages changed; they’re soaked.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Yeah, yeah. Still, go talk to Plus, he can do it.”

“I will. I’ll come by later, if you’re up for it.”

“I’m sure I will be.” Dr. Iplier smiles. As always, Host can sense it, and smiles back.

“I’ll hold you to that, then.” He kisses Dr. Iplier. “See you, love.”

“See you, darling.”

Some moments pass as Host leaves and Dr. Iplier waits for Yandere to come in. He can only imagine how he must have reacted. He still remembers how Yandere screamed his name when he found him, and how desperately Yandere tried to keep him awake. The younger ego may be a violent and capable killer, but Dr. Iplier knows how sensitive he can be, especially when it comes to those he cares about.

Sure enough, when Yandere does come in, he looks awful. His eyes are red and a little swollen; no doubt he spent the night in tears. He certainly didn’t sleep, if the dark bags under his eyes are any indication. Every muscle in him is tensed, wound up in anxiety. But the moment he locks eyes with Dr. Iplier, who smiles in his direction, his body visibly relaxes. Dr. Iplier doesn’t have time to greet him before Yandere launches himself into the doctor, throwing his arms around him in a tight hug.

“Oof,” Dr. Iplier grunts.

“I understand what you meant before,” Yandere whispers.

“What?”

“Back when I got really hurt, and you fixed me.” Yandere pulls away just enough to look at Dr. Iplier. “You were saying how it’s scary on both sides. I didn’t really get it, but I do now.”

“Aww, c’mere, kiddo,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, pulling him back into a close hug. Yandere buries his face in the crook of Dr. Iplier’s neck and hugs too tight, but the doctor ignores his sore body’s protests. Instead, he hugs Yandere back just as tight and strokes his hair. “You don’t have to be upset anymore, I’m okay. Thanks to you, in fact. How did you find me?”

“I was on my way home from hanging out and I heard you screaming,” Yandere explains, voice quiet. “By the time I got you back here, you’d lost a lot of blood and your skin was cold…” He shudders. “…I thought you might’ve already died.”

“Hey now, I didn’t, I’m alright.” Dr. Iplier ruffles Yandere’s hair. “Thank you for coming to my rescue. I would’ve been a lot worse off without you.” He feels Yandere smile into his shoulder.

“Well, you’ve helped me out so many times,” he says, “It’s only fair that I help you sometimes. It’s the least I can do for all the trouble I cause you.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Yan,” Dr. Iplier replies, smiling along with Yandere, “Fixing you up when you’re hurt or sad is no trouble to me. You’re a model patient, you know.” The doctor suppresses a laugh when he feels Yandere’s cheeks heat up.

“O-oh?” he squeaks.

“Of course. Half the egos are terrified of blood and needles, and the other half are rude or stubborn or just plain difficult to work with.” Dr. Iplier sighs. “Honestly, you and Host are probably the only ones here who don’t constantly make me want to rip my hair out for one reason or another.”

Yandere can’t help but giggle at that, pulling fully away from Dr. Iplier.

“I’m guessing you aren’t gonna be dealing with any bad patients for a while, though,” Yandere muses.

“True,” Dr. Iplier says, grinning, “That’ll be Plus’s job until I get better. So _you_ –” Dr. Iplier pokes Yandere’s nose, “–better be careful in the meantime, since I won’t be there to fix you.”

“What, you don’t trust Midori-kun to be a good doctor?”

“That’s not what I said, kiddo.”

“I’m gonna tell him you said he’s a bad doctor!”

“Hush up, you knucklehead!”

Dr. Iplier pulls Yandere in with one arm and ruffles his hair with the other as Yandere laughs. When he leaves Dr. Iplier’s room, he clearly feels much better than he did than when he came in. Dr. Iplier finds that he does, too.

Though, he’s not looking forward to laying around in bed doing nothing for however long it takes to heal.

~~~

Dr. Iplier recovers slowly. He’s not as durable as most of the other egos, and not quite as popular as the other older ones. Slowly, of course, is a relative term: As a figment with a decent amount of fan attention, he only needs a week and a half to get back to full health whereas a human in his situation would likely take a month or more. It doesn’t stop his time as a patient from being boring, though. He wants to _move_ , to walk around his clinic and apply bandages and stitch up wounds and open patients up for surgery. But Plus is a strict doctor; he hardly lets Dr. Iplier get up at all. Anytime Dr. Iplier tries to argue, Plus launches into a tirade of all the awful complications that could arise if Dr. Iplier strains himself. The doctor knows it’s Plus’s way of showing care, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys it. But he doesn’t complain, because Plus does a great job of keeping everyone in one piece while Dr. Iplier is laid up healing.

With all this on his mind, it’s perhaps unsurprising that he nearly forgets about that word Yandere called him right before he passed out. He sees Yandere several times while he’s recovering, of course. The younger ego visits often, especially after he’s been patched up by Plus. Dr. Iplier chides him for not being careful like he asked him to be, and Yandere complains that Plus is too strict and cold. They get to chatting, and eventually Yandere leaves, and only then does Dr. Iplier remember that he meant to ask him about the word “oto-san.” He continuously forgets until the night before he’s set to be discharged.

“So you’re better now?” Yandere asks him that night.

“Pretty much,” Dr. Iplier answers, “Plus wants me to wait until morning to get back into things, though.”

“Midori-kun is such a _shinpaishou_ ,” Yandere says with an eye roll, “What difference is one night gonna make?”

“A shin-what?” Dr. Iplier asks.

“ _Shinpaishou_ ,” Yandere repeats, giggling, “He’s a worrywart.”

“Ah,” Dr. Iplier says. “Speaking of words I don’t understand, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“What?” Yandere asks, tilting his head.

“When I was attacked and you found me,” Dr. Iplier begins, “You said this word before I passed out.”

“What word?”

“‘Oto-san,’” Dr. Iplier says. “What does that mean?”

All at once, Yandere’s expression changes from contentment to shock. His eyes grow wide and his smile drops. When he speaks, his voice is quiet, almost shaky.

“I…I said that?”

“Yes…” Dr. Iplier says cautiously, slightly alarmed by Yandere’s reaction, “It seemed like a term you were using to refer to me. I’ve been wondering what it means.”

The more Dr. Iplier explains, the more nervous Yandere seems to get. His face loses color, and his eyes remain wide. He looks away, starts to fidget with his hands, even backs away a few steps. If Dr. Iplier is being honest with himself, he’d say that Yandere almost looks scared.

“Nothing.” Yandere finally speaks, still not looking at Dr. Iplier. “It doesn’t mean anything.” He backs away another step. “I-I have to go. It’s late, we both need sleep–”

“Yan-”

“Goodnight.”

With that, Yandere practically sprints out of the room, leaving Dr. Iplier bewildered.

He spends a good while staring at the ceiling after that, thinking about what “oto-san” could possibly mean for Yandere to be that upset about saying it. Dr. Iplier plain doesn’t understand it. He’s certain that it’s not a cruel word or an insult; he remembers how worried and concerned for him Yandere was when he said it, and he’s never insulted Dr. Iplier before. Therefore, it couldn’t be that bad, could it? Dr. Iplier has no idea. He tries to think back if Yandere’s ever said the word before and he just didn’t think about it, or if he’s ever said anything similar, but he comes up with nothing. The word itself doesn’t tell him much; he thinks he heard the “-san” honorific in there, but he can’t be sure. His knowledge of Japanese is limited to words Yandere occasionally sprinkles into his speech. Finally, he’s forced to resign himself to not knowing what “oto-san” means, at least for now, and eventually falls asleep.

~~~

The next morning, Plus allows Dr. Iplier to be discharged as promised, though not after a long physical exam “just to make sure.”

“I told you I’m fine, Plus,” Dr. Iplier says with a chuckle once the exam is over, “I do know what’s best, after all.”

“Doctors are not advised to diagnose themselves in any situation,” Plus counters, “Humans are prone to misidentifying their own symptoms or letting their personal biases impact their decision-making, and therefore-”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Dr. Iplier assures him, grinning, “Thanks for everything, Plus. This building would’ve fallen apart in a day if you hadn’t been helping me out here.”

“It was no trouble,” Plus answers, unable to help a smile of his own, “It was…pretty fun, actually.”

“Isn’t it?” Dr. Iplier agrees. He walks to the hook where his lab coat is hanging, ready to finally put it on again. “Well, I’ll let you go. I’m sure you’ve got stuff to do in the control room. See you later?”

“Of course,” Plus replies, “Goodbye, Doctor!” He turns to go.

Dr. Iplier has one sleeve on when a thought suddenly occurs to him.

Plus is a Google. He can find the answer to anything. So…

“Oh, Plus, before you go,” Dr. Iplier says quickly. Plus turns back around to look at him curiously. “I have a question.”

“Yes?”

“Can you tell me what the word “oto-san” means?”

Plus’s eyebrows furrow slightly at the odd request, but they quickly smooth back out as he searches his database for the answer. A part of Dr. Iplier almost feels a little bad for getting the answer this way; there must be a reason Yandere doesn’t want him to know, after all. But after over a week of wondering, his curiosity is too great to resist.

“Oto-san,” Plus says, “Is the Japanese word for ‘father.’”

Oh.

_Oh._

Dr. Iplier, for a long moment, can’t do a thing but gape.

_Yandere...called me “dad”?_

Sure, Yandere and Dr. Iplier care about each other. They have for a long time, practically since the beginning. Dr. Iplier knows this, and he always has. He’s cared quite a bit about Yandere ever since he first met him; when Yandere was a month old and a day and a half from permanent death. With how often Yandere visits him for treatment, of course the fondness would be returned from the other side. The more Dr. Iplier thinks about it, the less surprising it is. Yandere’s come to him for a lot more than just injuries recently, and even taken to calling him “Shishi” as a nickname. Dr. Iplier would be lying if he said he hadn’t grown fonder of Yandere in turn. He’s always been happy to help him with whatever he needs, and rather likes being called “Shishi.”

And now that he knows what it means, he doesn’t mind being called “oto-san” so much, either.

“Dr. Iplier?” Plus asks, breaking Dr. Iplier out of his reverie.

“Oh, um, yes. Thank you,” Dr. Iplier says, moving to finish putting his lab coat on, hoping Plus won’t ask him about the elongated pause.

“Why did you want to know?” Plus asks, curious.

“No reason,” Dr. Iplier says quickly, “Uh, thanks again.”

“You’re welcome,” Plus replies, clearly still curious, but doesn’t say anything more before leaving.

It’s not long after that Dr. Iplier leaves the clinic, as well.

Now that he knows what “oto-san” means, Yandere’s reaction the night before makes a lot of sense. The poor kid is too sensitive for his own good, with severe self-esteem issues to boot. Dr. Iplier’s talked him through enough crying fits to know how he thinks. Yandere must be terrified of rejection, afraid that Dr. Iplier at best won’t return the sentiment, or at worst hate him for it. What Dr. Iplier thought was fear on Yandere’s face probably was; fear that he’s lost Dr. Iplier as a friend through a slip of the tongue. Knowing Yandere, he’s probably been torn up over it all night. And that, Dr. Iplier decides, just won’t do.

It doesn’t take him long to make it to Yandere’s door, and he realizes even he isn’t exactly sure how to conduct this conversation. He’s never dealt with feelings like these before, and has far as he knows, neither have any other egos. Romance is commonplace among them, as is brotherly love. But parent-child love? That’s something else entirely. Still, Dr. Iplier won’t get anywhere just standing in front of Yandere’s door all day, so he lifts his hand and knocks before he can think twice about it.

“Yan? You in there?”

Dr. Iplier hears a tiny gasp and some rustling, and then silence.

“Yan, I just heard you. I know you’re there, I want to talk to you.”

More silence. Dr. Iplier sighs.

“Kid, I found out what “oto-san” means. The sooner we talk about this, the better. Can you please open the door?”

After a long moment, Dr. Iplier hears rustling again, then footsteps, and the door opens enough for him to see Yandere’s face. His eyes are slightly bloodshot with bags underneath.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he mumbles, voice quiet.

“You called me “dad,” kiddo,” Dr. Iplier says gently, “I think we need to talk about it.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Yandere whispers.

“I can tell,” Dr. Iplier says. He pauses, trying to choose his words carefully. “I…didn’t know you felt that way.”

“It…” There’s the same panic as before in Yandere’s eyes, and Dr. Iplier is afraid he’ll shut the door. Instead, he continues, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters,” Dr. Iplier says, frowning.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Yandere goes on, “Don’t feel like...like you have to change anything. Just forget I said it.”

“I can’t, Yan, and I think you know that,” Dr. Iplier says.

Yandere doesn’t respond, only looks down at the floor.

“Kid, is there a reason you want me to ignore it so much?” Dr. Iplier asks, “Did you not mean what you said?”

“I already said I didn’t mean to!” Yandere cries.

“That’s not what I asked, kiddo,” Dr. Iplier explains kindly, “I want to know if you really feel that way, or if calling me “oto-san” was an out-of-nowhere mistake.”

Dr. Iplier is positive he already knows the answer, but he feels he has to get through to Yandere somehow. It works; Yandere looks back up at him, and finally breaks.

“I didn’t mean to call you that _out loud_ ,” Yandere moans, covering his face with his hands, “It just slipped out. I…I’ve been calling you that in my head for a while, and it was always supposed to just _stay_ there. I never wanted you to find out, I never wanted you to think less of me.” He lets out a shaky sigh, and lets his hands drop from his face. “Please, can you…can you forget I said it? Can we please keep going on like before? I don’t want anything to change or make you do anything, I just…” Tears start leaking from his eyes. “…I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Yan…” Dr. Iplier murmurs, “Who said this would ruin anything?” Yandere’s eyes widen.

“I…I thought…” Yandere visibly struggles to come up with the right words. “I thought you’d hate me for it, I feel like you _must_ hate me for it. I mean, I take up so much of your time, I’m always crying to you about something or other or getting myself hurt, and you spend all this energy looking after me. And I only ever helped you once, when those people attacked you. You’ve given me so much and I don’t…” He starts to cry in earnest. “I don’t deserve anything else.”

“Hey, hey…” Dr. Iplier says softly, “There’s no need to cry, Yan, shh.” He wishes the door opened outward so he could pull it open to comfort Yandere, but as it is now, there’s no way for him to reach out and hug Yandere close like he wants to.

“Wh-why would you ever think of m-me like that?” Yandere sobs, “I’ve been n-nothing but a nuisance f-for you! All I do i-is dump my problems on you! N-not to mention that you’re a doctor, and I g-go out and kill people for fun! Wh-why would you ever like me at all?”

“Yandere,” Dr. Iplier says, stern but kind, “When did I ever say I didn’t like you, or didn’t like being with you? When did I ever act like I hated it?”

“You…y-you didn’t…” Yandere admits through tears.

“That’s because I _don’t_ hate it,” Dr. Iplier says, “I’ve always been happy to help you, because I _care_ about you. When you come to me and you’re hurt or upset, all I want is to make you feel better. It’s my job, but even if it wasn’t, I’d _still_ want to take care of you. And kid, you’re far from the only person around here who kills people for fun. If I wasn’t used to it by now I’d have already gone crazy. All this to say that you’re a joy to be around, and I’ve always wanted the best for you. You’ve meant the world to me for a long time now.”

“R-really?” Yandere sniffles, looking at him with wide, teary eyes.

“Really,” Dr. Iplier replies with a smile. “You know, when I found out what “oto-san” meant, I was surprised at first, but then I thought about all the things I just told you. About how I’ve always done my best to take care of you, how much I enjoy being with you, and how happy it makes me when _you’re_ happy. And really, when you think about it, isn’t that what a parent is?”

Dr. Iplier reaches out a hand through the gap in the door, cupping Yandere’s tear-stained cheek. Yandere leans into it immediately, and Dr. Iplier looks at him with soft eyes.

“If you want to call me ‘dad’, then I’d love to call you ‘son.’”

Yandere manages a watery smile and a nod.

“It’s…” he says, still a little uncertain, “It’s weird though, isn’t it? Nobody else here is like this.”

“Not weird, just different,” Dr. Iplier says with a grin, “Nothing bad about being the first.”

Yandere finally opens the door, stepping out to walk into Dr. Iplier’s arms. The doctor’s hand sweeps from Yandere’s cheek to the back of his head, ruffling the hair along the nape of his neck. His other arm wraps around Yandere in a warm hug, the kind of hug he’s given Yandere so many times now. Yandere hugs back, squeezing tight. After a long moment of silence, the younger ego is the first to speak.

“Do I have to call you “oto-san” all the time now?” he asks. Dr. Iplier can’t help but chuckle.

“Only if you want,” he replies, “We can figure this out as we go. Besides,” he adds, “I still like ‘Shishi.’”

Yandere laughs, nuzzling into Dr. Iplier’s chest.

“ _Arigato,_ ” Yandere murmurs, “ _Arigato gozaimasu._ ”

Dr. Iplier leans down, smiles into Yandere’s hair. It’s not quite a kiss, but it’s gentle and comforting like one.

“No need to thank me, Yan,” he replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Doc and Yan so much ;w; Rest assured this won't be the last fic I write about these two. I may or may not already have something in the wings ;)
> 
> But I have something else I'll most likely be posting sometime this week (I've learned not to say "definitely" by now :'3 ), so look out for that!
> 
> In the meantime, I hope you liked this fic! Leave a kudos or comment if you really enjoyed it, I love getting them :D


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